Possibilites......just add money

I took this picture of a home I wanted to purchase. It's going to need some work. It was built in 1988, and has "good bones" but it does have that 80's look. See that shiny white tile floor - the kind that you add water and then play slip and slide all the way to the orthopedist for that hip replacement? Hopefully in four months, that's going to be hardwood.

See that popcorn ceiling? Oh so 80's, and soon to be oh so gone. Well "skip-trowel" that dated look away. Notice how I now use those fancy home improvement show words like "skip trowel"? I have been retired too long, and HGTV has become a staple in our viewing lives. That and the Military Channel, but that's not for this blog entry. The bathrooms are in tile.....pink tile. Again, its a look not to be kept, and I've not even started talking about the kitchen remodeling.

So one asks "why if it isn't pleasing did you put a contract on it?" Answer: possibilities. And the price was right. The seller, whom turned out to be a fellow I know, looked at our offer and countered, whereupon I agreed, and started the finance dance. We hope to close in early July, and turn our contractor loose - barring finding any dead bodies in the attic or other deal killers.

When you move a woman, any woman, but especially a wife, you're in for a tough year. My dear wife will hopefully see the sense (and dollars and cents) of this decision once she has a chance to work with our contractor and make it "her home", but leaving one of our children up north is very hard on her. She's a tough person, and will adapt as she has any other time we've made a major decision that broke a comfortable inertia. Next week she goes with our contractor to make selections at Lumber Liquidators, and Sarasota Tile, and fixtures at Lowe's or Home Depot. We'll go north and get that three level home set up for sale over the summer, while Jason and his crew do their thing (that's the "just add money" part from the title). At the end of the summer we'll bring that which we haven't given our children down to Florida in a moving van. My dear wife has always considered our Missouri condo to be where "her good things" have been kept, and all my paper history is stored there as well. The new garden villa condo (one level, hurray!) has lots of room for storage, but that's not an excuse to pack everything. Any move is cathartic, but it's also a chance to shred stuff rather than move it. I have binders of taxes and investment account statements going back to 1988 which is way beyond any records retention law rules. A summer of shredding awaits!

So, in less than a month, we'll be headed back to Missouri. We'll help move our daughter and son-in-law from our condo (where they've lived during the sale of her first home) into a new four bedroom, three car garage, suburban home. Daughter has pledged to take not only some of our stuff, but to set up a room for her mother to stay in during visits to future grandchildren. She'll even store other furniture for our son, when he moves out from his step-cousins home to make way for that person's wedding and bride moving in. We will claim a closet for winter coats and sweaters rather than bring them south.

We're busy making lists of things to do this summer, and hopefully I'll find time to blog about them as well. After officially becoming a Floridian for tax purposes in 2004, I'll finally be down here 365 days a year (when not visiting friends, children or on a cruise ship). I consider my retirement is now complete - on social security and living in Florida. Where did that time go?

Recycling metals and wood for fun and profit

Today was different - we went to a junk yard and paid $10 a head to get in. It wasn't just any junk yard, and based on the creativity exhibited, you'd have to say it was more than mere junk, it was "junque" at its very best. The owner/builder/artist excelled in turning cast offs into art using car parts, appliances, tools, kitchen utensils, oil drums, coat hangers (you name it, he used it). He then turned these materials into whimsical creatures using a level of creativity beyond belief. In addition to metal sculpture, all windows were done in stained glass by the artist. One turret featured zodiac signs, another depictions of the planets. Not sure if Pluto was up there, or back at Disney.

Built by a fellow named Howard S. Solomon, the castle and the adjacent "boat in a moat" restaurant is located in Ona, Florida in rural Hardee County. For us, it was a 120 mile round-trip journey in the Corvette, and we were one of eight Corvettes participating in this day trip.

Leaving the assembly point at Burger King and I-75, we journeyed east on State Road 64, a typical Florida two lane with a 60 MPH speed limit. Traveling in a group, we pretty much obeyed that limit, and being third in line and never having been to the destination, I found discretion the better part of valor when it came to staying in line and not following the temptation to pass the leader and then miss the turn. On the way home, I was first in line, and temptation won from time to time. I got a chance to give the beast it's head, and we used the 430 horses to pass a few folk nearing triple digit speeds, but thankfully nobody was hurt (or arrested).

The drive was fatal however for a good 100, maybe more, "love bugs" which are those pesky May visitors to Florida who "fly United" and hopefully enjoy themselves before becoming a hood and windshield ornament. I cleaned at least one hundred, probably more when I returned to our island. Figuring eight Corvettes and a Mercury (obviously somebody who wasn't wanting to expose her Corvette to love bugs), all traveling at or slightly above 60 MPH, I believe at least a thousand love bugs died for our sins on the fiberglass crossed flags of Chevrolet Corvettes.

After the tour of the castle home (he actually lives there on the upper floors), we went to the "boat in the moat" made of recycled lumber in a three-quarter sized replica of one of Columbus's ships. It was air-conditioned fortunately, and our group was able to find room inside where we enjoyed the cuisine and the conversation with fellow Corvette owners. When it came time to pay the bill, we were told the cashier was in the nearby (outside) gift shop. Very clever way to encourage more purchases.

The lady in the gift shop told us Mr. Solomon, who personally led our tour, slept but three hours a night. The rest of the time he was creating sculpture with cast off machine parts, and recycled lumber. He did a number of homages to famous artists, using wood in three dimensions. Mr. Solomon also had a pun for every item's description. If this tour of the "cast offs as art fodder" doesn't work out, he's got a future as a warm up act in Vegas. At ten bucks a head, Solomon and two additional employees moving three tour groups an hour through the house, I figure they were clearing $500 an hour (each group was around 20) after wages. The restaurant was quite reasonable, in quality and price of the food, and some of our group also dropped some bucks at the requisite gift shop. Despite being way off the beaten path, the place had lots of business. You can learn more about the place by looking on the Internet at www.solomonscastle.com.

Oh, that aluminum look to the place - it comes from recycling offset printing press plates. Next to a White Castle (a northern staple), this is now my second favorite Aluminum Room.

Goin' Coco Loco on Coco Cay

Coco Cay is a small island in the Bahama chain that is leased out to Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines (RCCL), and this was the final stop before returning to Ft. Lauderdale on our recent cruise adventure. The "drink of the day" is a Coco Loco, with generous portions of rum cleverly hidden amongst the many different fruits and berries. The day was quite windy, and the tide was out so nobody was able to jet ski. There was however para-sailing, and snorkeling. A fair amount of amusement was had watching people try to walk forward in flippers, almost as funny as watching them walk backwards.

The island is staffed by local Bahamians who commute to work on a boat from a nearby island, and supposedly there are only seven lifeguards who actually live (spend the night) on Coco Cay. The locals operate the Straw Market, where the usual tourist stuff can be found. I think we bought a T-shirt on Coco Cay, thus our buying spree ended with a whimper and not a bang.

As we packed for an early departure on Thursday mornings, having embarked the prior Saturday, we tallied up the purchases (those to place on the customs form) and realized we probably were under the "allowable" limit since several things were actually purchased in America. Actually, they were purchased in Key West, which may officially be part of Monroe County, Florida, but many would argue that the Conch Republic, which seceded in 1982 on my 35th birthday is not a part of these United States. It got that name after the DEA blockaded US Highway 1 at Homestead, and set up a drug checkpoint to inspect traffic coming north from Key West. The Mayor, Chamber of Commerce, and many other notable (and quotable) stoners all participated in this act of polite rebellion. The day (April 23rd) is celebrated every year at the various bars around town, with Sloppy Joe's and Margaritaville being well known.

Thursday morning broke early as we slipped back into Ft. Lauderdale around daybreak, and we sadly exited the ship at 0800 hours to once again traverse Alligator Alley where my wife spotted four gators in the canals, and I spied 8 FHP or Sheriff's cars with unlucky motorists at the side of the road. The short vacation was over, and I had pictures to download and stories to tell.

Watch this space for further adventures of Hizzoner, former Mayor and President of the Bank of Dad.

A day at sea, a picture with the Captain

One of the best parts of cruising has to be the "day at sea" where everything is free (well, almost everything) and the dress code is about as casual as you can make it. You can see how casual I got in my picture taken with Captain Rune, from Norway. This was my second time to sail on Grandeur of the Seas under this gentleman, but my first picture. He's the guy with shoulder boards that display his rank. I'm the guy with the well filled out T-shirt. That shirt cost me $10 for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and five laps around the deck (one mile). Being the overachiever, I did six, but didn't quite catch up in time to lap the field.

I took another picture (below) from deck ten overlooking the pool area and the upper deck where sunbathing is always in style. This was the day that we just hung out, and I made a run at the Art Auction on board. My prior cruise had gotten me in a fair amount of trouble, having gone a bit overboard (no pun intended) on buying art. This time, I was only allowed to bid on one artist, and only IF that artist had a piece to complement an earlier purchase. The artist is Scott Jacobs, and he is best known for drawing Harley Davidson motorcycles and wine bottles - he also draws Corvettes. I found what I wanted, and purchased that print which featured a 1963 "split window coupe" in red. Apparently, another in the audience also found that an attractive purchase, and through that shared appreciation I met a young mentalist/magician named Daniel Cullen. I had won a drawing with four free art items, several of which I already had won on a previous cruise. I was happy to arrange for this fellow Hoosier to get two of the prints I already had, and in return he did a fantastic job of showing my wife and me some amazing sleight of hand and card tricks. All in all, another memorable day on the water, with only one final stop before returning home. Stay tuned for a day at Coco Cay.

Cozumel - some new discoveries

Our second destination was to the island of Cozumel, Mexico, where we again chose to forsake the "planned adventure" of a shore excursion and to simply go where we had yet to visit, the actual downtown area.

Our last time in Cozumel, we'd paid for and thoroughly enjoyed the "X-Rail adventure" which was a stripped down dune buggy on a muddy trail to a "cenote" (a spring fed cave) and back. You'll find that in an earlier blog, where we sacrificed many items of clothing to the trash, after taking a low speed rolling mud bath through the jungle. This time, we piled in a taxi and invested $7 apiece to travel to The Forum Shops, where we succumbed to the first of several purchases, the most expensive being jewelry.

It was also in Cozumel where I broke down and purchased my own Cariloha bamboo fabric shirt - so light and soft it's almost sinful to feel against one's chest. However, with 40 years of marriage to consider, there are only so many wonderful and soft things I am authorized to place against my chest, so the shirt is going to have to do in terms of worldly pleasures. We also discovered Pancho's - a wonderful restaurant with an outdoor feel of a courtyard with authentic music played at a tolerable volume. We found most places were pushing the VU meters into the red (in terms of decibels), but this place did everything right. The margarita drinks were just right, and the food excellent.

This day, however, was not going to be an "under $100 day" as we had in Key West, but the purchases were those we really liked and wanted. And, I was able to do some decent bargaining to reduce the cost of several items - at least the ship's "shopping adviser" was kind enough to tell me I had. Sometimes it feels good to have smoke blown up your trouser legs, even when you suspect it's not genuine.

Key West - Not Just Bars and Souvenir Shops

This past week, we undertook a five night cruise from Ft. Lauderdale to Key West, Cozumel, and Coco Cay, Bahamas. First stop was a half day in Key West, Florida. I snapped these old homes with my wife's camera. I had managed to leave home with the lens cap and battery charger to my new Sony DSC-HX1 (that's a Digital Still Camera). However, I failed to take the camera itself. Duh! I also failed to take the Sun Pass out of my car and put it into my wife's small BMW, but that mistake only cost us $5.00 in cash tolls on Alligator Alley (I-75 across the Everglades).

We arrived at the ship in time for lunch, having pushed the speed limit after dropping off the dog off at Hagan's Pet Resort (I recommend it) in Sarasota. That began yet another week of sun, fun and food, starting off the next morning in Key West. This would be my fourth trip to Key West, my wife's third. No "shore excursions" as we pretty much had seen all the normal tourist haunts. Years ago we had stayed on "Marriott reward points" for a week at their premier resort, along with our children.

This time, the two of us decided to just walk Duval Street and see what was going on. We found the requisite chickens and roosters wandering about, and the meanderings of assorted homeless types as they came to where they passed out the night before and were now weaving toward what passed for home. The shops were opening at mid morning (this being a Sunday) and we actually heard church bells - apparently some locals still observe the Sabbath. Borrowing her camera, I snapped several shots of older buildings, two of which I have shown above.

We also did a bit of shopping, purchasing a nice Outer Banks sports shirt with the Margaritaville logo at Jimmy Buffet's store (the restaurant wasn't yet open). We also picked up a free stone necklace at Cariloha (a division of Del Sol), where they sell products made of bamboo. They make great sheets, towels, and sporting wear. My wife bought a very soft blue T-shirt, while I passed on a purchase there. End of day, our purchases were a shirt from Jimmy Buffet's, a T-shirt from Cariloha, and I picked up six cigars from a shop on Duval. I pronounced this a good day - we came, we saw, we avoided spending more than $100 dollars. Next stop would be Cozumel, Mexico. Goodbye Key West, goodbye Conch Republic!

Opportunity didn't knock, it squeaked loudly

It all started with a squeak, well more like a screech, or maybe a raspy scratching sound above our heads that first night of the cruise. Naturally, I slept through it, but my dear wife would lose sleep. This was in room 4536 on the starboard side. We couldn't figure out what was making that noise.

The second night, it was more forcibly pointed out to me, and when focused on listening I realized that another night of poor sleep was going to result in that old adage "when Momma ain't happy, nobody's happy". I set out to discover the cause. The following morning I began my investigation, complete with a video of that dastardly door and showed it to the guest relations desk. I had the evidence, and my wife had one solution - WD-40.

Turns out our room was directly below the automatic door on the fifth deck, nearest the Casino, and on the "smoking side" of the ship. People were going in and out.........a lot. That binding door track was the culprit, and we made several phone calls to no avail (at least we thought that at the time). It's an older ship, but my wife's idea probably would have worked to reduce the irritation level and noise. But apparently that was not to be the solution offered by Royal Caribbean. To my surprise, they moved us from the smaller "outside" cabin on deck four to a "junior suite" on deck eight. That's the picture shown above. My spouse got good nights sleep on evenings three, four, and five, with a balcony thrown in for good measure. I got an actual queen size bed, not the usual two "twins" pushed together as was the lower deck norm. The bathroom actually had a tub, and the shower curtain did not attack your backside with wet clammy fabric. I have now been spoiled, and when I undertake my next cruise, I'll be seriously considering "movin' on up, to a deluxe apartment in the sky". Thank you, Cinthya Pino, Guest Services Officer - you made our cruise unforgettable.

The Golden Corral

This is going to be a very short entry. I've been teasing the wife for a couple of years, each time we pass The Golden Corral near the local Wal-Mart. She constantly offers the rejoinder "we're too young for the Golden Corral". How would she know - she's never been to one, to my knowledge.

A few days ago, we were out shopping. She had seen an ad in the paper showing a cute dress at a store called "Ross - Dress for Less". She saw nothing at all like what was advertised (maybe they had three or four and they were all gone by the time we showed up), and she commented "boy, that place makes Marshall's look high-end". So, we were headed home and I was hungry. Over her objection, I pulled into the Golden Corral - saying "hey, I'll try anything once". Big mistake.

When we walked in, first thing we encountered was the cashier. My wife said "what, no waiters and no menu?". OK, I reminded her we ate often at the Chinese buffet, and paid the cashier $15.10 for "2 SR Lunch Buffet". With tax, $16.09 - I've spent more than that on a bagel and coffee in New York City back in the working days. My dear wife was clearly not happy, and when Momma ain't happy, NOBODY is happy. I took a diet Pepsi - she claimed only a glass of water. She watched me spread out and check out the fare, but she stuck with only some salad, and a LOT of commentary. "Look - the egg salad has been out too long" "Look, they're pouring fresh salad on top of the old stuff - they should be taking the old stuff back to the kitchen first". I commented "why, so they could mix the old with the new?" Oops - that drew a look that could kill.

Anyway, she ate very little - I had some popcorn shrimp with cocktail sauce, some Mongolian beef, a taco, a heaping tostada with lots of greasy ground beef, a hush puppy, rice with corn, half a brownie, ice cream cone, and two diet Pepsi's.

It was in a word, unremarkable. The look on her face was priceless. I think she'll start talking to me again within a week.

Oh, while the place had a number of older Americans, there was also a healthy mix of working class folk enjoying that unique American "all you can eat" cuisine. Many of them probably got their clothes at Ross - Dress for Less or Marshall's. We left, got into the Corvette and drove back to the island counting our blessings all the way.