My Abbreviated Open Marriage

Her name is Sally, and she's quite the good old girl. My relationship with her started (and sadly ended) on a sunny, somewhat overcast Thursday. As you can see, Sally is quite affectionate, and a really good kisser. That's my wife, watching carefully that I not go too far with this adventuresome lass. I am allowed to flirt with other women, and can watch them come and go, but spending too much time or showing too much affection is frowned upon.

That being said, Sally met with my wife's approval, knowing full well my reluctance to spend too much time in the water, so it was just a passing flirtation. a quick kiss on the check, followed by a more prolonged kiss on the lips. Oh, and yes, we danced as well, but it was more like the twist or the shimmy shimmy shake. Sally would swim up, standing tall on her very talented tail, and allow you to grasp her pectoral fins and dance. Apparently dancing in this fashion ("standing" on one's tail) is analogous to dancing backwards in spike heels, so our dance (and romance) was short lived.

But this was a proper affair, which began with simple petting, being followed by more serious affection being shown. Sally would swim by on parade, as we held our hands horizontal over the surface of the water, and we could first pat her on her backside, careful not to plug her blowhole or harm her dorsal. Then, that aquarian hussy would return inverted and let us rub her belly. This is serious petting, and I can tell you she's smooth all the way down to the tip of her fluke. Her skin felt like smooth rubber, almost as if she were wearing a wet suit.....which I guess she was. She seemed to enjoy this, but maybe that was just my imagination. Almost to then say "cool it, boy", she proceeded to thrash that talented tail and soak us all, smacking it on the surface with the grand prize winner of the belly flop contest onboard our ship.

Sally ended her performance (as it was clear she was just acting the part, and never very serious about OUR relationship), by doing that classic standing up high in the water and swimming backward. She wasn't just a flirt, she was a show-off.

Well, it was Just my luck, another warm mammal comes into my life, and then gives me the old fish eye and departs. Unrequited love left me standing on the pier, watching Sally and two friends leap fifteen feet in the air like circus performers, almost as if to say "go home buddy, this show is over". And so, I did........

Republicans, Libertarians, and maybe a RINO

Tomorrow is the Florida Republican Presidential Primary.

We will have a number of names on the ballot, but at this point only four candidates will be followed by the media, and in order of expected finish, you'll have Romney (whom conservatives call a RINO), Gingrich, Santorum, and Paul. Now, I've actually only met one of them, who may not be around much longer unless he surprises everybody and takes a strong third. All will agree that Ron Paul, the clear Libertarian running as an Uber Conservative Republican, will come in last, and yet will carry forward to the convention this fall in Tampa. Ron Paul supporters are true believers, but some of Paul's positions remind you of Ross Perot, or at least his description of a "crazy aunt in the antic". In this election, Paul could be the gold standard for crazy uncles, but with 20 years in Congress, Dr. Paul at least has been consistent with his message. At times, it's pretty naive, but it's consistent.

Williad Romney (yes, that's Mitt's real first name) is the "Massachusetts Moderate" to hear former Speaker of the House Gingrich refer to him, and Gingrich is certainly playing the role of the angry fiscal conservative, angry at Obama, angry at Mitt, and angry at the media, but clearly fast thinking on his feet, with a tendency to also be a bit too quick with what comes out of his mouth. Rick Santorum looks like he's too young to be taken seriously, but he's clearly the serious social conservative in the crowd. Mitt leaves FLorida with 50 delegates tomorrow in this "winner take all" state. I don't know if any winnowing of the field will happen, but if it does, it'll be the guy who comes in third. They (the pundits) refer to only "3 tickets out of Iowa", but they were wrong on that count. Only Michelle Bachman dropped out after Iowa (Tim Pawlenty never got that far), and then it was Rick Perry's turn after South Carolina. Herman Cain, who was apparently channeling Bill Clinton ("our first Black President") imploded along the way after suffering multiple "bimbo eruptions". Oh, and does anybody even remember Gary Johnson? He's from the Libertarian wing of the party, and former Governor of New Mexico. You had to figure only one Libertarian would come out of Iowa. So, the number of "tickets" coming out of Iowa was not three, and ultimately the only ticket that will count will be who is the candidate and who is chosen to be the running mate. I keep thinking both of those positions will be chosen not so much by personal chemistry, but by who brings the most electoral votes to the counting table next November.

Ought to be fun tomorrow........I'm working the polls for the local GOP Club, showing the flag (while showing no favorites) and prepared to hail the victor and carry the wounded off the field of battle. The best part of tomorrow is only one more day of automated "robo calls" from Mitt, Newt, and their thinly veiled surrogate committees. My wife said she's voting for whomever has NOT called the house. I did turn down the invitation to attend the victory party for Mitt - oh, BTW, it's an hour away in Tampa. Think I'll pass on that one too.

Next stop - Super Tuesday.

Out for a Wednesday Drive

OK, first comment is that it wasn't like any Corvette I've ever driven. This off road golf cart on steroids was guaranteed to give your kidneys a run for their money. This was day four, with the Freedom of the Seas docked at Falmouth, Jamaica. We had departed Sunday night, spent Monday at sea, and pulled into the peninsula of Labadee, Haiti, on the island of Hispanola, then onward to Falmouth, near Montego Bay, Jamaica.

The four wheelers were made by Polaris, perhaps better known for their snowmobiles. We see quite a few of these four wheelers here in Florida, where condo maintenance men use them to haul tools and supplies while doing projects around various resort properties. I believe Polaris also makes personal water craft - but I've yet to spot a snowmobile south of the Smith & Wesson line.

These however were almost "rent-a-racers" and reminded us of an earlier adventure driving "X-Rails" on Cozumel. Actually, the X-Rails were larger, albeit only a tube frame with engine. And that day in Cozumel, it had rained a lot. This time, we had dust (lots of it) but no mud to contend with. I did offer my wife a chance to drive, but she preferred to let me push the envelope and swear at the driver ahead of me who I suspect had a Toyota Prius at home, with an Obama sticker on its rear bumper. What a wuss!

Two small boys and what they mean to me

This is a short photo essay of two of the best things that ever came to be in my life, my buddy Ripley and my grandson Cole. Ripley stands tall in my eyes as my first boy beagle, after five females of my favorite breed. Cole sits up tall, as my first grandchild who is quite handsome and is growing like a weed. I used to think that I'd be happy to wait till the cold weather left the frigid north, before venturing out onto the roads to drive to St. Louis, but each day my daughter shares a picture (by phone text) with us, and the child seems to be developing a personality while I was pretty much of the opinion that such development was not on the horizon until at least six months. Guess I was wrong.

So, after we come back from the current cruise, my wife will fly north for another week after Valentines Day, and then it'll be the three of us driving up in April, when Cole is five months old. I'm looking forward to it, and I think Ripley will enjoy this new addition to the family as well. The best thing about Cole is that when he poops, I don't have to bend down and pick it up.

Winding Oaks Pool has A.D.D.

Well, the pool is "done" but we still can't use it. It has A.D.D., which in this case stands for Another Damn Delay. So, what has happened since my last blog - well, a comedy of errors for one thing. The fencing team (clearly not olympic quality) managed to install the handrails on the wheelchair ramp too high, which means they'll flunk inspection. The restrooms are not yet completed, so the health department will not allow an occupancy permit by Sarasota county. The lights in the bathrooms are on a "motion sensitivity" switch of some sort, which turns them on and off when somebody enters or leaves the room - which would work with the old fashioned bulbs, but we installed "energy saving" bulbs which apparently don't work with the switch installed. Oh, and the diaper changing stations have arrived but yet to be installed. Some neighbors are already complaining about the lights shining into their windows - the old pool lights are so far in the distant history that folks forgot what it was like, so complaints are fresh again. The solution will be lower wattage bulbs, which I believe falls under Plan D (for dimmer, not dumber).

The gas line was finally found (it had been disabled two years ago), and today there are plumbers at the site making an effort to hook it up to the pool heater. The water temperature is currently very cold - but the water has at least been "balanced" as to its chemical balance. Maybe, just maybe, in three or four days (provided the heater gets hooked up and works to warm the pool) we'll be able to sneak over and swim, but of course that would be unofficial swimming.

The picture notes that the old siding has been removed and new siding is still awaiting installation, and this project has taken on a two steps forward, one step back, track. Our pool committee leader now sends out emails talking not of "Plan B" but is moving past Plan C, D, and perhaps E might be the ticket. Grading has been accomplished (note dirt against wall in photo) and a second dumpster is on site, already half filled with debris. The project keeps growing, so perhaps another "assessment" will come down the pike, as we tear out another wooden ramp and replace with concrete so that wheel chairs which get to the pool deck on the ramp seen, will be able to get up an additional ramp to the yet unfinished restrooms.

A lot of this has to do with our wonderful Federal government rules, which forced us to replace the old pool with one which conforms to current codes - in 1988 when this pool building and pool were constructed, there were no requirements for things like diaper changing stations - and 23 years ago we might have had residents with children. Now our diapers all are Depends, and our new wheel chair ramp needs the rails to be installed at the correct height. We had to demolish and remove the old pool, but the project then required that not only the new pool, but the old pool building be brought up to current code. Oh well, just another exercise in "just add money" in addition to "just add water".

New "completion date" is said to be by month end. We'll believe that when we see it.

UPDATE: Ten days have passed, and nothing more accomplished - these must be the "horse latitudes" of tropical stillness. The gas line is in, but after four years of exposure the elements, the ignition system on the pool heater corroded and a new "platinum plug" has to be found and installed. As I leave for my cruise, I wonder will I come back to progress or more A.D.D.