Two new ladies take a Bow

I'm sure I'll get a 'stern' rebuke for that pun in the title of this blog entry, but lately I'm enjoying taking pictures of cruise ship "nose art". You'll recall a picture of the Norwegian Pearl in an earlier blog, while we were on Freedom of the Seas in February. This trip, we ventured into virgin territory after eighteen or so cruises on Royal Caribbean, and decided to try Freestyle Cruising, offered by NCL. Freestyle meant no having fixed main dining room seating at either 6 PM or 8:30 PM, and we could choose to eat by ourselves, or with friends. Seeing as how I had to fight for three days during the last weekly cruise on RCCL to get the seating I had on paper, but not in the ship's computer, this was refreshing for a change.

The trip took us from Port Canaveral to Nassau in the Bahamas, then St. Thomas (American Virgins), then San Juan, Puerto Rico, and finished at NCL's private island, Great Stirrup Cay. Elizabeth took her new snorkel gear, and got to use it in three of the four stops, and we did the rain forest and Senor Frogs in San Juan. Lots of pictures of her in pink fins, mask and snorkel, but
we'll respect her privacy and look at the sleek bodies of ships this entry. The waters off Nassau were choppy, and she got run over by a paddle board, and was dodging kayak paddles as well - this is what happens when four different activities are all sharing the same large catamaran - who says there's no greed in tour operators. Sixty five people were doing snorkel, powered snorkel, clear bottomed kayaks, regular kayaks, and paddle boards (standing room only, so to speak). I chose to stay on the boat and read. Water was also choppy in St. Thomas, but this was off a beach - so sunlight was not great which reduced visibility. The only calm water was on Great Stirrup Cay, where the waters were great, and not the least bit "stirred up".

I really enjoyed this ship, and did a few more activities than my wife - two trivia contests where I sat with younger folk and demonstrated my "name that tune" abilities. Went to the art auction, didn't buy a thing while drinking free champagne. Got some actual sun on my face and only gained weight in the single digits. Ate lots of salmon for breakfast, with capers and onions and cheeses, and croissants. Even cut my food and didn't switch hands with my fork, I was feeling so European.
Of course, the downside of eating salty food is water retention. It caused me to remove my wedding band, which I managed to then leave behind on the ship. This was not good - but it was cutting off my circulation (in the finger, not the discotheque). Actually did manage to dance a bit - not that most folk would recognize my gyrations as dancing. Like many white folk, I'm fundamentally rhythm challenged, but I had fun trying. As they say "what happens on the ship, STAYS on the ship" and "you'll never see most of these people ever again". That's certainly a relief to know.

My Abbreviated Open Marriage

Her name is Sally, and she's quite the good old girl. My relationship with her started (and sadly ended) on a sunny, somewhat overcast Thursday. As you can see, Sally is quite affectionate, and a really good kisser. That's my wife, watching carefully that I not go too far with this adventuresome lass. I am allowed to flirt with other women, and can watch them come and go, but spending too much time or showing too much affection is frowned upon.

That being said, Sally met with my wife's approval, knowing full well my reluctance to spend too much time in the water, so it was just a passing flirtation. a quick kiss on the check, followed by a more prolonged kiss on the lips. Oh, and yes, we danced as well, but it was more like the twist or the shimmy shimmy shake. Sally would swim up, standing tall on her very talented tail, and allow you to grasp her pectoral fins and dance. Apparently dancing in this fashion ("standing" on one's tail) is analogous to dancing backwards in spike heels, so our dance (and romance) was short lived.

But this was a proper affair, which began with simple petting, being followed by more serious affection being shown. Sally would swim by on parade, as we held our hands horizontal over the surface of the water, and we could first pat her on her backside, careful not to plug her blowhole or harm her dorsal. Then, that aquarian hussy would return inverted and let us rub her belly. This is serious petting, and I can tell you she's smooth all the way down to the tip of her fluke. Her skin felt like smooth rubber, almost as if she were wearing a wet suit.....which I guess she was. She seemed to enjoy this, but maybe that was just my imagination. Almost to then say "cool it, boy", she proceeded to thrash that talented tail and soak us all, smacking it on the surface with the grand prize winner of the belly flop contest onboard our ship.

Sally ended her performance (as it was clear she was just acting the part, and never very serious about OUR relationship), by doing that classic standing up high in the water and swimming backward. She wasn't just a flirt, she was a show-off.

Well, it was Just my luck, another warm mammal comes into my life, and then gives me the old fish eye and departs. Unrequited love left me standing on the pier, watching Sally and two friends leap fifteen feet in the air like circus performers, almost as if to say "go home buddy, this show is over". And so, I did........

Los Banditos de la Rhino

This past week, we wrapped up the move to the new house, and decided to reward ourselves with a short hop over to Costa Maya, Mexico for a rumble in the jungle. We rented Rhino all terrain vehicles, and set out for a jungle and beach adventure.

A Rhino is not (despite the immediate prior post about politics) a Republican In Name Only, but a 650 cc Yamaha 4 wheel heavy duty golf cart. I swear, the body said Custom Cart and while it had a shorter bed than the Custom Cart my buddy Bob drives at our condo complex, it had the same basic set up - one speed forward, one reverse, and a 4x4 and a 4x2 (two wheel drive) setup. On the road, it felt like we were making perhaps 35 mph easy, maybe more. Part of the run was on gravel roads, several running along the Caribbean sea shore. We were part of a tour, of course, and when you're on a tour, all sorts of folks get involved, including the usual poor drivers. Now, I'm naturally competitive and don't enjoy people failing to put 100% into their efforts, so I just had to pass where I could. Not sure how the guides felt about it, but my passenger was pretty upset when I'd move up the line by passing somebody who just didn't know how to drive (my opinion, of course). My passenger, who generally hates to see her picture published anywhere, was gracious enough to snap the shot of the two of us with brain bucket, bandanna, and glasses. She's the one making sure she doesn't eat anybody's dust by pulling the scarf up to "burkha level" - I'm exposing my nose, so folks would recognize me.

Anyway, we had a blast - almost as much fun as last year at Cozumel with the dune buggy ride through mud holes in the jungle. Not a lot of mud, but really not that much dust either this time. The track we followed however had lots of stumps and rocks and vegetation slapping the Rhino at the front and sides. That golf cart was a hardy beast, and mastered it all. I've got to get me one of those.........but I think I'll take the governor off and add a Nitros bottle. Then when my wife says "this isn't your Corvette", I can say "no, it's better!".