Pirates of the Carribean - Senior Citizen Edition

That appears to be a drink in my hand. Who says alcohol is fattening - I'm still smaller than my boat, aren't I? And, what's the big deal if I've gained a few pounds - I'm not fat, I'm volume enhanced. I can even wear parts of my old military uniform. Well, I'll admit the part I refer to is my name tag and my ribbons.

That being said, I'd rather cruise than snooze. Being on the boat means no robo-calls at the condo from people seeking my opinion prior to a sales pitch, and our cell phones don't work on the water. Millie gets to enjoy Hagan's Pet Resort, and we get to sleep in without the worry of dog walking for middle of the night bladder calls. There is also no meal preparation, therefore no need to make supply runs to Wal-Mart and fight the tourist season traffic. It's nirvana, take my word for it. Food, fun, sun, more food, more fun, too much sun, and Tums for a chaser.

And I've discovered something I really like - the buffet line in the Windjammer on board, then there's also the ice cream machine on the pool deck, and the pizza and burgers at 11:00 PM back in the solarium. To heck with the formal dining room and an 8:30 PM seating, who needs all that formality, and the need to pack the tuxedo. Did that the first time, took a suit the second, carried a blazer the third cruise, and a light jacket from that point forward. I'm retired, and the suits and ties are firmly ensconced in the closet for only church and funerals.

Cruising has become my passion (other than politics), and I've always believed that if you like something, do it often, or as often as you can afford to. In 2009, my dear wife and I embarked on three cruises, visiting Mexico, Grand Cayman, and Bermuda. We saw Mayan temples, rode dune buggies through muddy jungle trails, piloted Zodiac boats, cycled down abandoned railroad rights-of-way, and probably had more fun in our marriage in one year than some prior decades of those "working years" together. In a few weeks, we leave for ten days on the boat, and for the first time have sprung for a balcony cabin. We'll also meet our good friends from the British Isles, and do a lot of catching up on events in the two years since we last were together.

The challenge will be in deciding what to pack, and then how much can we actually fit in the back of our Corvette driving down to Miami. Florida is a great place to live, if you like to cruise. There are four (4) cruise terminals, and we've embarked from them all. Nearby Tampa is very close, and Port Canaveral isn't that far. Port Everglades (Ft. Lauderdale) and Miami are but five or six hours drive. So no airfares, and no $30 per checked bag to contend with, in addition to hurtling through the sky in an aluminum tube with some poorly screened jihadist in the next aisle wearing Fruit of the Boom underwear.

Hey, I'm pumped and looking forward to walking up that gangplank in a fortnight. We'll see how living very close together in that small space for ten days works out, but if successful we just might try 14 days in Europe to celebrate our 40th anniversary in 2011. And of course, if it's not working out.......there's always that balcony.